Not up...not down

I was exactly the same weight today as last week. I am glad I didn't gain, but I have no excuses for not losing. I ate a few things I shouldn't have and I didn't exercise so there you have it. My stress level is off the charts right now and stress is NOT my dieting friend. Actually, stress is not my friend in any way. So, somehow I need to figure out how to let go of the stress.

I did make a huge step toward letting go this past weekend. This is going to sound silly, so I'll admit that right up front, but it was a really big deal to me. I did the laundry on Saturday. That's right, that was my major letting go moment. For years and years and years I have done the laundry every Monday, and it's been great. I have loved getting up on Monday mornings and doing all the laundry. I only do laundry once a week and I always (or almost always) do it on Monday.

That's the luxury of a stay at home mom...to be able to do the laundry every Monday, to have your life run on a schedule and to have time to do those kinds of things when you want to do them. But it's time to face the facts and quit causing myself so much stress and start doing laundry on Saturdays. I've always been grateful to be one of the moms that didn't have to do laundry on Saturday. I've always been so grateful to have been at home and have the luxury of doing all those kinds of things during the week days. And I've been holding onto hope that things would go back to the way they were, but it's not gonna happen, so it's time to let go and make some adjustments.

I realize how silly this sounds to most people, but I have kind of hung my hat on the stay at home mom hook for many many years. It's a great blessing to be at home with your kids, and I'm so very grateful I've been able to do that. The truth is that even though I am working now I am blessed to work at home most of the time and mostly when the kids are in school so if you have to work, and I do have to work, then this is the way to do it. But doing the laundry on Mondays was making the rest of the week crazy. By taking time to do the laundry I didn't get in enough work hours and then I have been scrambling the rest of the week to catch up. Stress! Not my friend!

So Saturday I decided to do the sensible thing (finally) and do the laundry. I have to admit, this week I have had a much better work week and I'm not behind, in fact, I'm ahead in my hours. That feels good. And that's my goal, to feel good. I haven't really felt good for a while. I have moments of feeling good, and times of feeling good, but I've let stress take way too much of a toll and I've spent a fair amount of time feeling less than good. So, in this journey to be healthier, I also need to do things that will help me feel healthier mentally and emotionally.

I'm sure this post seems very strange to anyone who will read it, but I wanted to write this down so I can remind myself to make the necessary changes in my life that will help me feel my best. I'm working on having a more positive attitude and focusing on all my blessings, and trust me, I have lots of blessings.

I'm hoping that by letting go the extra pounds will also let go. I'm grateful for the chance to keep trying!

A good week!

I think I forgot to post last week. We went to Utah and when we got home I weighed in and I was up one pound, and to tell you the truth I was really relieved. I was worried I had gained more since we ate out quite a bit and I ate things I normally say no to. So I considered that a victory! This week that ugly pound is gone, along with another 1.5. I'm so excited that I lost 2.5 pounds this week. That makes my total loss 18.8 pounds. I'm almost at the 20 pound mark. My goal is to be there next week. I know I made the goal to be there before the trip to Utah, but that's OK, I'm pluggin' along! I'm snacking less and I did exercise once this past week. Once is lame, but it's better than not at all. I just can't seem to get myself back in the exercise mode. I'm feeling better, that's for sure. Twenty five more to go! : ) These 2.5 pounds are for you, Pauli! I love you!

Groundhog Day!

That's what today felt like when I hopped on the Weight Watcher's scale. I was exactly the same as last week, but I wasn't a bit disappointed. I had such a good loss last week that I was really worried about maintaining so I was happy that I stayed the same.

That's the good news. The not so good news it that this was my last WW meeting for a while. I just can't do it right now. Our business is slower than slow and there's no way I can justify spending the money to go and hang out with my WW buddies. I have a great jump start and I feel totally confident that I can continue my losing streak on my own. It will be a little bit harder, but I can do it, and I will.

We are headed to Utah on Friday and I am VERY worried about maintaining while we are gone. Some of my favorite food is in the beehive state. I plan to eat a little bit of everything and fill up on the healthy stuff. My goal is to be the same when we get home as when we leave.

I was a BIG loser this week!

This was a good week as far as my weight loss journey is concerned. I was down 3.4 pounds when I weighed in this morning at my meeting. I was so thrilled! I've lost a total of 17.4 pounds and it feels really good.

I tried really hard not to eat after 7:00 p.m. last week and it obviously made a difference. I've been making better food choices and snacking less. I have to admit that I am hungry sometimes, but I'm hoping that will get better with time.

Jessica and Todd became engaged yesterday and we are all over the top excited. I didn't start losing weight for this reason, but I don't want to be a chubby mother of the bride so I feel even more motivated now. I see a cute new something to wear in my future. Maybe a summer suit, maybe a dress, we'll see when it gets closer.

Although all of this is exciting, the news about Pauli was anything but. I'm dedicating my pounds to Pauli and praying that she will feel my love and concern. There's just no one like her!

Slowly but surely!

That seems to be how it's coming off this time, slowly but surely. I lost another pound so I'm down 14. The hormonies didn't help me this week so maybe next week I'll have a better loss. Even though the weekly losses are small, they do add up. My clothes are much looser and I do feel better.

I keep saying I need to exercise and I just haven't been able to force myself to do it. I've got to get moving. I need to make another hideous threat to myself. I'll think of something to motivate my lazy buns!

This pound is for you, Pauli. I am dedicating all my pounds to Pauli!

I'm a big fat chicken!

I didn't have the courage to go to my meeting yesterday and weigh in because Jessica and Todd came to visit for the weekend and I fell off the wagon a bit. I really didn't pig out, but I did eat more than I should have. Friday night we all went to Ruby's on the pier. It was so much fun. I splurged and got a hamburger. I only ate about 2/3 of it, but I did eat every heavenly French fry that was on my plate. Everyone got shakes, but I refrained. So I guess I could have been worse.

I made French toast and only had one slice, I made breakfast burritos and only had one...on a whole grain tortilla, I made homemade rolls and only ate one...the smallest one, I made two kinds of cookies and I have to confess that I did eat a few of those. Oh yeah, and I made homemade cinnamon rolls and I did have one...and it wasn't very small. And as if all of that wasn't enough, Steven and Kevin...aka Satan and Lucifer...brought us the prettiest apple pie you ever did see...and I did partake. It was delicious! So now you can see why I was so scared yesterday at the thought of weighing in. I really am a coward!

Also, yesterday morning I wasn't feeling well and I used it as an excuse to avoid putting my chubby body on the WW scale. I'm back on track and will drag myself to the meeting next week, no matter what. I still want to be at a 20 pounds loss by April 3rd and there's no way that will happen without exercise, so I've gotta get movin'. I bought tons of fruit and veggies at Henry's yesterday so I'm going to fill up on that and avoid the sinful foods!

Onward and downward!

Lucky 13

It's almost not worth reporting my .4 pound loss this week, but I guess I'll go ahead and do it anyway. I know why I'm losing so slowly. I'm eating too much of the right food and not exercising. By too much of the right food I mean good choices, but too many of them, which is not good. My total loss is exactly 13 pounds, but if I'm going to make my goal to be at 20 by April 3rd I'm gonna have to move my buns...and thighs...and chins! So Pauli, I didn't do much this week, but what little I did is dedicated to your returning smile! Keep it up!